I recently came across this on Dimensional Bliss and it seems to confirm what we teach on our NLP courses that the mind and body are in fact one system. it also lens weight to what is taught in Qui gong that we actually have three brains.

Have a read and then allow yourself to imagine all of the possible things that you can do with this learning

Recently, Neurophysicists have been astonished to discover that the Heart is more an organ of intelligence,

than (merely) the bodies’ main pumping station. More than half of the Heart is actually composed of neurons of the very same nature as those that make up the cerebral system. Joseph Chilton-Pearce, author of The Biology of Transcendence, calls it “the major biological apparatus within us and the seat of our greatest intelligence.”

The Heart is also the source of the body’s strongest electromagnetic field. Each heart cell is unique in that it not only pulsates in synchrony with all the other heart cells, but also produces an electromagnetic signal that radiates out beyond the cell. An EEG that measures brain waves shows that the electromagnetic signals from the heart are so much stronger than brain waves, that a reading of the heart’s frequency spectrum can be taken from three feet away from the body…without placing electrodes on it!

http://dimensionalbliss.com/2011/03/23/follow-your-heart-it-is-smarter-than-you-think/
Read more… Follow Your Heart, it is Smarter Than You Think

Since you have read this far I assume that you’re serious or at least interested in getting a life you want. I say “A life” because it is likely that there is more than one life to which you aspire.
Most of the people who read my posts here are believers in human potential and our as yet untapped capabilities.

I’ll explain what the picture of the standing stones is about in a moment. First we need to clear up a few things.

One of the things that sometimes slows you down from getting what you want to get is the ability to imagine so many things. I am reminded of a saying by the Chinese sage Confucius.

“Man who chases two rabbits catches none”

So imagine what happens inside in your mind when you are free to chase a limitless number of possible futures. How focused are you ?

READ THAT LAST SENTENCE AGAIN

One of my teachers from the Western Mystical tradition was a lady named Dawn. She told me that you must focus like a standing stone on what you want. What she meant by that is…

A standing stone is a metaphor for durability.

Imagine having such clarity about what you want for your life that the image you have inside, will stand the test of time.

photo courtesy of TripAdvisor

Resolve like granite that withstands the winds and rains of the storms ravaging the mind.

Yet within the centre of the stone, all is calm.

It feels no wind and it feels no rain. it knows only it’s own self and the intent to be who and what it really is at the true core of it’s spirit.

This is a mindset carved out of solid rock and that moves mountains.

This is what Dawn meant when she spoke about being a beacon. A beacon will endure no matter what the climate is and even when it is blown into smaller pieces through the intervention of others, each resulting chip from the original carries the essence of it, as if it is DNA.

The danger with developing this level of intent is that you would be well advised to have thought through exactly what you want first. Imagination on this level has a spooky habit of coming true when you act upon it. It is a powerful force for motivation because it shimmers inside of your very being.

Before you go trying this we need to talk about values and how they shape who and what you are and how you can use them as a tool for lots of things. Including getting what you want from the inside out.

Because that’s where we’re heading in the next nlp tip next. I’ll also begin talking about sensory acuity and behavioural flexibility.

Inside…!
Read more… NLP tips and NLP videos # 4 – On Becoming a Beacon

In my last video I spoke about New Years resolutions and goal setting in general
Now !

Today’s Tip is about hidden benefits..
Now by that I don’t mean the sort of hidden benefits that the central banks are dishing out to each other.
It’s more subtle than that.

Let’s jump right in and take a look

When I’m working with a team or an individual and they are not getting the results or the changes they say they want
I always ask them this question. it’s a little bit unusual…

“What are the benefits of NOT achieving this?”

It could be that

– They didn’t have to do what they say they will do

– They aren’t held accountable

– They get to moan about how terrible things are

– They get to stay in what is comfortable & familiar

-It may be that  they get a sympathetic ear from other people about their “struggle”…

These are all ‘hidden benefits’ that they would have to find other ways to get if they achieved their goal.

There are always hidden benefits

In almost any situation, there will be hidden benefits. If these benefits are uncovered, you can find other ways to satisfy them AND achieve your goals more easily.

However, if you are not aware of the hidden benefits of a situation, it can make it more of a struggle to change. So, with regard to a current goal you wish to achieve or change you wish to make…

Ask yourself “What are the benefits of NOT doing this?”
and pay attention to your answers.

You can look for other hidden benefits by asking

“What am I getting from the current situation?”

The answers you give yourself about these questions may seem a bit strange or perhaps even embarrassing, but once you’ve identified them, you can begin to find new ways to still get these hidden benefits AND achieve your goal.

Every benefit addresses a need or want

A benefit is only a benefit if it addresses a need or want, so the next step is to identify the needs or wants that the hidden benefit is supplying.

You can ask “What is the need or want that this benefit is satisfying?”

Anthony Robbins talks about six basic human needs, so if you’re having trouble identifying the need or want, check this list for inspiration. Robbins’ six are paraphrased as follows:

– Love & connection to other people

– Contribution to something bigger such as your family or community. A cause that you are passionate about

– Predictability, familiarity & security

– Unpredictability & surprise

– Growth & learning. Personal development.

– A sense of importance

One of the  presuppositions of NLP is that every behaviour has a positive intention.

Now The presuppositions of NLP are not necessarily true, but it is useful to act as if they are true in certain situations.

It can be very freeing to realise that there has been a positive intention behind something you have been perceiving as “failure” or ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’.

Once you know which needs or wants you’ve been satisfying, you can dream up many more even better ways to feel satisfied in the future.

So imagine what it will be like to ask yourself
“How can I still get these benefits while I’m achieving my goal?”
And then ask yourself that question.

The odds are that once you start to contemplate new ways of doing things, you’ll often come up with even more ways of getting those benefits than the ones you currently have.

Sometimes people will say that there is no benefit in the current situation.

NOW, If that happens, check how long things have been the way they are. If it’s more than a few weeks, then the hidden benefits should be familiar.

And…With regard to not getting your  goal…

Ask “What are the benefits of NOT achieving this?”
to identify hidden benefits of the current situation.

Ask “What is the need or want that this benefit is satisfying?”

Ask “How can I get this benefit while I’m achieving my goal?”
to identify better ways of satisfying the wants & needs.

Remember to use your imagination – there’s always another way of meeting your wants and needs.
Read more… Nlp Tips # 2-The hidden benefits of NOT Getting Your Goals ]]> http://assertivecommunication.net//assertive-communication/nlp-tips-2-the-hidden-benefits-of-not-getting-your-goals/feed/ 0 http://assertivecommunication.net//assertive-communication/nlp-is-more-than-just-assertive-communication-skills/ http://assertivecommunication.net//assertive-communication/nlp-is-more-than-just-assertive-communication-skills/#comments Fri, 25 Nov 2011 22:25:24 +0000 admin http://assertivecommunication.net/?p=1388 Continue reading →]]> NLP is…?

In a recent survey of NLP practitioners, they were asked to answer the question “What makes NLP great ?”

The instructions said that they could only answer with one word.

Here are some of the answers and a video too that I uploaded to YouTube

According to the survey, NLP is.

Celebration

Insight

NLP is Fascination and exciting

It’s about attitude, connection and well being

Success

Enlightenment and

Empowerment

NLP is awareness, self accountability and faith

For others NLP is the Meta model ( relax you’ll be learning about that tomorrow ) reframing and

Empowerment.

Discovery connection, growth and change were other answers that we got. As was future hope, freedom and rapport.

Yet others responded by saying that for them NLP is positive, illumination, choice and contentment. Understanding and new life choice was one answer. ( Some respondents were so excited that they needed more than one word…Nuff said ! )

Most said that increased awareness and relationships are part of what NLP is..

So there you have it… It has begun or maybe something just ended ?

What would you like NLP to be great for for you ? Let me know with your comments..

And I hope you enjoyed the video because that describes what is great about my experiences of nlp..

Technorati Tags: NLP, nlp courses, NLP is, nlp practitioner, nlp trainer, nlp training, Transforming nlp

 Relationship communication can be tricky. It is a curious way to start an article but consider this. Relationships involve people. That’s a statement of the obvious I know and sometimes things that are obvious are completely missed.

You are a unique human being. The people that you are in relationships with are also human beings and also unique. Every one of you has been brought up in a unique environment known as a family that is composed of other unique individuals.

 We come into this world in a manner that is somewhat random. By random, I mean we have little choice about the human beings who will be guiding us towards becoming adults. We do not know what beliefs they may have and we do not know if those beliefs and the resulting actions, will be effective in dealing with the world out there. Worse still, we have no idea whatsoever about how well what we are being taught will enable us to cope with other human beings.

 Given the apparent randomness of human up bringing, it is a miracle that we are not rushing to push “the button” every 5 min. So what’s is it that binds us together as a species? What is it that brings you together with another person in a relationship?

 A lot depends on what you focus on. It is rumoured that leaving the top off of the toothpaste tube is one of the leading causes of divorce. This is of course complete fabrication. The leading cause of problems in relationship communication is bad focus.

 Good communication comes from focusing on the things that work for both of you and for the relationship. By switching your focus from the top on the toothpaste tube, to appreciative remarks, and by focusing on the good things, your perspective changes.

 You entered into a relationship with some common goals and some common benefits you were seeking. Pause and consider them for a moment.

 When you enter into a relationship with someone, by which I mean a positive and cooperative relationship, you probably did so because you and the other person had congruent values. You both decided that what was important to the other person was also important to you. You shared beliefs about what is right and good. Values are the clearing in the middle of forest where we can all come together and meet.Shared values are that place in a relationship which does not have any conflict. Values are the safe space where you feel secure about being yourself.

Because those shared values create a safe space for you, you can be yourself and you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Discovering the shared values you have with another human being is one of the quickest way to build trust, rapport and understanding. Without trust, rapport and understanding you will not experience the relationship you really want.

 To improve your relationships communication, I would recommend what you do is to simply ask a question. The question is “What is most important to you?”

You can also ask if the other person has those qualities in their life and if the answer is no, I’m going to suggest you offer to help them achieve that.

 Relationship communication is about creating cooperation. Cooperation can only come from understanding and understanding can only come from appropriate questioning, respect and trust.

Technorati Tags: assertive communication, assertive comunication, communication skills, communication skills training, conflict communication

Many people confuse assertive communication with being right. They focus on winning instead of focusing on the result that they really want to achieve. As a result of this people don’t listen to what is being said. The result of this is that they do not understand what the other person is trying to communicate to them. This is precisely where the whole conversation starts to break down.

From a very early at each we are taught that it is wrong to cooperate. What do I mean by that? When you go to school you are taught don’t copy Johnny or Susie’s work. You are taught that sharing resources and ideas is somehow cheating. You are taught that this is bad. I’m not one  hundred percent sure what the psychological effect of this mindset is on a young brain but I suspect it is not good. The reason we look over their shoulder of other people is because we want to learn.

I believe that at a deep level this sets up divisions on an emotional and psychological level. We are also taught that you have an inherent rights to not share that which is important to you. This comes from beliefs about scarcity and lack. Scarcity and lack set the ground for conflict and the need for assertiveness comes out of a belief that there is in fact a conflict.

Scarcity, lack and conflict are all just the need for assertive communication is just a belief in our society. We are taught that children must be trained. We are not taught that children must be guided towards being able to make better decisions.

A belief in scarcity and lack lead to resentment and insecurity. People don’t feel good about themselves and they go into fight or flight responses. Both the fight and the flight response are defensive and at the end of the day what are you defending? On many levels you are merely defending your ego. Your position. Your view.

Why do you want to go through all of the rollercoaster emotions involved in using assertive communication? Is there a degree of addiction to being right?

These are radical ideas. My views do not set into those of the establishment. I believe we are taught from an early age how to not cooperate with one another beyond what is absolutely necessary to sustain life. I also believe we are taught, subtly how to be in conflict with one another.

Before you reach for your arsenal of assertive communication skills stop for a moment and consider this.

What is the outcome but I want to get from this conversation, this interaction, this dialogue and how can I do this most easily? How can I not only get this result for myself but also for the other person?

By operating from this win-win mindset not only do we both get what we want. Neither of us has to feel resentment, or plan revenge at the earliest opportunity.

Try out this new mindset. By doing so you’ll be amazed at the results that you are going to get.

Technorati Tags: assertive communication, assertive comunication, communication skills, communication skills training, conflict communication

I came across a video on YouTube today.

Sounds ordinary enough…?

Or is there more to this email ?

What’s the…underlying reason that caused me to sit down and write to you today…

Well, it’s like this…

For a long time I have avoided being political. ( mainly as a result of being well and truly stomped on by the system in the past  whenever I was saying stuff they didn’t like.) 

More details later.

( maybe…!)

Just so you know, one of my deepest beliefs and values is that we MUST learn to cooperate better if we are to survive as a species.

Please note the use of the word survive here. And NO this is not just some impassioned plea to save the whales or any other single species.

This goes much deeper.
It’s all about the deep psychological shifts that humankind needs to make to get to the next level.

We have a behaviour problem here on planet Earth.
And I hate to be the one to tell you but it’s also a choice problem.

As a species and as individuals, both you and me chose a behaviour that was damaging to our home. Our planet.
And for a while we chose to ignore that because we were told that government and the financial system has the answers.

And we believed them.

BUT the truth is…

Our current behaviour is not useful for the long term sustainability of life. 

Human life on planet earth is an option.

That’s all it is. An option.

You are an evolutionary choice…

That’s tough to consider but I believe it’s true nonetheless.

You are at a decision point in your life.

We all are.

Nature doesn’t care for your future here any more than it cared for the future of T Rex.

The difference between you and T Rex

is that you have a brain that’s capable of creating choice AND you are still here.

NOW …

at the moment we have systems in place that we use to run or manage our environment.

These systems are set up on the basis of competition, in just such a way, that there is inequality.

That inequality results in over 1 billion people living in poverty and starvation.

BUT the problem isn’t a lack of food to feed them with…

It goes deeper…

It’s all about beliefs and your psychology. The shift from a competition to a cooperation mindset.

And cooperation goes beyond mere sharing and management of resources.

Cooperation is and must become humanity’s belief system. A value system.

A way of being for all of humanity, regardless  of race, creed, financial status or any other BS idea you got taught about why other people are different to you.

Cooperation needs to be part of our conscious psychology as a species.

Think about the times when you are not happy…

Aren’t they almost always times when there is a conflict going on.

It is your responsibility to take control of your environment which starts with your internal environment.

Your beliefs about what is possible.

Control of your environment includes controlling what you think, feel and do.

Despite what you may have been told… you… are the only person who has control over your beliefs and thoughts.

Those who tell you that you have no choice… USUALLY HAVE A VESTED INTEREST in keeping you right where you are !.

(“That’s your place.You better get used to it”.  “Hey we were always poor, dumb, downtrodden”. “Your side of the family was/ is radee radee radee”,)
All of the above are just BELIEFS.

Other peoples beliefs… about what is right for you. And you do not have to accept their beliefs.
I mean it positively flies in the face of what’s written in the Constitution.

You have choice about what you will believe. What you can believe.

Yeah, I know it may sound difficult . But that’s just another belief.

Another idea that YOU have about…

taking control of your own thoughts. Taking control of your life and destiny.

Taking control of your environment

But if Tony Robbins can do it then so can you!

If I can do it, so can you ! 

Doesn’t mean you have to be a total master at it straight away.

It just means that you’re willing to believe it’s posssible to change what you believe.

If you are one of the few who don’t think it’s possible to change what you believe, from whatever you currently hold in your mind to something else, please do not read any further.

Instead consider…

what causes you to have such a limiting view.

Who or what told you to  believe that you are powerless over your own mind and where THAT belief came from for them.

You can always hit the back button / unsubscribe.

I will be upset, knowing that yet another human being just gave up on possibility, themself and the whole future of the planet.

The rest of us will ask ourselves the question  “Is there something more we can do to assist ?”

If you truly believe you are incapable of changing that one tiny belief don’t even bother to get out of bed tomorrow.

Why waste energy ?

Speaking of which, for those of you who are still here with me. ..What does get you out of bed ?

What is the motivator for you that shifts you from that warmth and comfort to whatever you do when you get up.?

Once you are aware of that then you have tapped into the most powerful motivation on the planet.

So, spend some time really getting in touch with WHY you do what you do.

I have considered for some time how do we transition from where we are now to where we need to be as a species.

As part of our ecosystem.

We are after all, at a very basic level,  just another item in the intricate biological soup that makes up life on this planet.

You of course are also infinite possibility in evolutionary motion.

You may be curious about what this all has to do with communication.

You can also be curious about How you can create the levels of cooperation needed to achieve survival.

Why did I just mentioned survival again?

Did you ever consider that perhaps, getting cooperation is the whole reason that you communicate in the first place ?

I mean why else did we go to all that troube of creating and refining language if not to get better cooperation with others ?

We are a social species and social implies cooperation and to do that we have to communicate clearly.

Think about it ! If you don’t want or need something you don’t speak or wave or do anything else to communicate with others.

Even a smile can fulfill the need to comfort or reassure another person (or yourself.)

So while you’re thinking about what moves you from your bed every day I’d also invite you to really consider what results you want to get from communicating.

Consider also if your communication is getting you the results that you really really want. The environment you want. Internally and externally.

And if the answer is YES then
Watch…

If on the other hand the answer is NO then
Watch…

And by the time you have completed watching this you will know why I want you to be motivated. Why you need to be motivated. And most important of all. Why you need to believe that change is possible….

The tools for creating the necessary upgrades in awareness are about to come out of the lab here…

Sign up for our newsletter to discover more about how you can be part of the change.

Technorati Tags: assertive communication, assertive comunication, communication skills, communication skills training, conflict communication

Being awesome…! How long do you have left ?

This video of a TED talk will show you yet another way of improving your communication skills with your self….

simply click and listen….fascinating !

Download now or watch on posterous

NeilPasricha_2010X.mp4 (60985 KB)

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Technorati Tags: assertive communication, assertive comunication, communication skills, communication skills training, conflict communication

Technorati Tags: assertive communication, assertive comunication, communication skills, communication skills training, conflict communication